League of Failed Suicide Bommers (LFSB)

Creation
The old cap of ‘Ta Che Mouse’ formerly known as Mr Mouse sits on a wise set of marbles. These are original 1930s marbles made of unbreakable glass. Sitting one night with a glass and laughter with Philip the Hun, he came up with one of his hilarious jokes about trying to evade Jury Service. So after a good old chortle I realised that there could be a seriously funny side to being a FAILED SUICIDE BOMMER.

Eligibility to Join
The Daily Telegraph has been publishing tales of family sadness when great men/women return from the line of duty in the hell holes of war. Present day Afghanistan and Iraq.

Being trained to kill is as easy as to train a puppy to be naughty or nice.

Being trained to return to Civvy Street and to resume mundane life with the Killing Fields BURNT INTO YOUR MIND is the kind of training ignored by the powers that be. Down in the sticks it is now pronounced that 40% of the population suffer with Manic Depression/Haggard Despair/Schizophrenia etc. Some of this is inherited, some is brought by a life of not being recognised. As the newspapers tell the horror stories of kids slaughtered by their fathers or mothers whose fault is, a weakness of the mind powers in this modern world of plenty. My shudders say DO SOMETHING! The Government rich funded departments of health care, social services etc have no answer only feeble excuses following great tragedies.

Back in the days of austerity in the aftermath of 1914-1945 war years you were either shot or battered to within an inch of your life for even thinking of self pity.

Tough Guy™ 21 years old Best Event. The safest most dangerous sport in the world, has maybe found the answers with LFSB.

The League of Failed Suicide Bommers
Join up, tell us your story, we have the answer to your problem.

It may not at first be the answer which you hoped but stick it out, become a Tough Guy™ and a new found life of discovery will be your oyster for plucking.

Life of Mr Mouse
In 1956 as a Trained Soldier reaching targets that other Trained Soldiers could not grasp, life in the Grenadier Guards was bloody good.

The bad bit was when a 48 hour pass brought home the reality of home life and a wicked Father.

Being late returning from the 48 hour pass was inexcusable. So with silence I took the punishment.

My sadness was noticed by a young officer who in all friendliness took me to the medical room. My inner thoughts and troubles at home were elicited by sympathetic officers and I was sent to St John’s Hospital in London. At each check up I realised that I might get a discharge if I ladled in the sympathy and eventually I was sent to a psychiatrist.

The greatest moment in my life!

I stood before him, he never looked up from his desk.

He asked what I wanted to do when I left the Army. He then told me to go to Foyle’s Book Shop in The Strand and to spend 3 hours there then report back to him. On my return, I sat in a big squashy armchair and I wondered why I was not on the psychiatrist’s couch? He then questioned me on what books I had found interest in.

Follow me, he said.

We walked into hospital wards where there were rows and rows of ‘disabled by war’ men, missing arms, legs, one guy had his jaw missing and one had been burnt all over with an exploding oil bomb. Each of them had a great smile and a welcome ‘Good morning’ to the Specialist Doctor in front of me. After an hour or so of following him on his morning visits we went back to his office and he said to me:-

Those guys whom you saw, did you think your problems greater than theirs? Go back to your regiment, plan your life ahead and be the good trained soldier whom you have already shown us. That was it, no discharge. I didn’t have a brain tumour or repairable illness. I went back to Brookwood, sat in the pub with a pint and the jukebox playing Buddy Holly.

I took 3 sips of beer, stood up and threw Self Pity out of the window.

WOW. Have I lived a fulsome life ever since. Flying in the face of all challenges to WIN!

Join the League of Failed Suicide Bommers
You first must enter or have been a past Tough Guy™.

You log onto L.F.S.B. message board and key in your story. Let it all hang out but try to keep your story short enough to not get boring.

Give your age, marital status, where you were born, nationality, male/female.

We will log you in and introduce you to a sympathetic ear.

You may well read a similar story to yours and strike off with an amazing likeness to A.N. Other.
More stories of the original founder of the L.F.S.B.

Tin Hat Stories
If you have been there we want to know?